Tuesday, February 1, 2011

It's all about body image

In my drawings of women, as in my photographs of women, I am talking about and looking at myself. I see myself as a fairly short thin woman, and also look at parts of my body and am captured by the realization that I am fat. But am I so fat that I cannot fit into the first "fat" jeans I bought - size 18! That was astonishingly huge. I was always a size 10 - that was before everyone was a size 0. I never heard of size 0 when I was young and thin. I got down to 90 pounds and I still wore my size 10. So now that I am officially fat why can't I fit into those size 18 jeans???? How come 1X is bigger than XL? I am a 2X now but I am losing weight - SLOWLY. Some of my clothes are starting to fall off. That is good. Because I have so much back pain I am afraid to take them in. But I will keep trying to get into those size 18 jeans. Meanwhile I keep drawing what I look like inside my head.

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